Insecurities
by appleslovetea
Summary: COMPLETE - Rin/Haru one-shot.


It was already past 11pm when Rin reached the front door of the familiar house.

Unlike other occasions when he'd just barge in announced though, this time around Rin stood staring at the closed door for a few minutes, his hands fidgeting nervously inside the front pockets of his jeans, as he bit his lower lip still unsure if he was doing the right thing.

After about 5 minutes of feeling as though the world had stopped moving around him, Rin finally decided to kick his apprehensions to hell and just go for it. Damn it, it was all in the past! There was no reason for a misunderstanding to develop between the two of them over such a stupid affair.

So taking a deep breath, Rin quickly covered the distance between him and the door and knocked three times against the hardwood.

To his surprise, the door swung sideways almost immediately, as if the person standing behind it had been expecting him to stop by all along.

"You're late." Haru said, as soon as their eyes met. "...I thought you weren't coming today."

His tone was neutral as he soon moved to the side giving room for Rin to step into the genkan.

Perhaps a little _too_ neutral...

"Huh...Yeah, sorry for the late hour. I only managed to get permission to spend the night off campus after dinner." Rin confessed, putting down his duffle bag.

He made a move to greet Haru then, but the younger man expertly avoided him by turning around and walking towards the kitchen.

Damn it! It seemed Rin's apprehensions hadn't been unfounded after all. Haru was still very much pissed off at him.

"Are you hungry? I've had dinner already but I can make you something to eat." Haru asked over his shoulder.

"No...thanks. I'm fine. I ate at the academy already... Mind if I take a bath though?"

"Sure. Go ahead." The other shrugged, returning to his task of cleaning the dishes over the kitchen counter without a single glance backwards.

Rin knew he was pushing his luck with his next question...

"...Want to join me?"

The snicker he heard Haru give in reply felt like a punch in his stomach. Oddly enough, it also gave Rin the courage he needed to approach the touchy subject lingering in the air.

"Damn it Haru, if you are pissed off at me just say it to my face!"

"...I'm not pissed off."

"Bullshit!"

"I said I'm not pissed off at you!" Haru retorted more forcefully, even though he still wouldn't look back at Rin.

"Haru!"

"What? !" The young man practically yelled, finally turning around to face his lover.

That was when Rin first noticed Haru's eyes, or rather, the state they were in. They were swollen and blood-shot red, as if the latter had spent the last few hours crying.

"Haru... Your eyes..." Rin started, unable to hide his surprise.

His comment caught the other off guard, who quickly turned his face away from Rin, unable to hold his gaze any longer.

As a heavy silence fell between them, Rin felt like crap. He pulled a hand thru his hair, trying to choose his next words as carefully as possible. He didn't want to, no...he _refused_ to lose Haru over such a stupid act on his part.

"That kiss didn't mean anything, Haru." Ring said softly, watching the other's lips morph into a thin line.

"That girl means nothing to me. I don't even know what she was thinking showing up at the academy out of the blue, like that."

This time he heard Haru chuckle, albeit ironically. "She means nothing to you, huh? Well it seems you mean a lot to her then, if she came all the way from Australia just to see you..."

"Huh, about that..."

"She's your ex-girlfriend! How am I suppose to believe she means nothing to you?" Haru accused.

The hurt was more than clear in his voice leaving Rin too ashamed to come up with an excuse.

"Why did you have to go and kiss her anyway?" Haru asked a few moments later; his tone still bitter.

"...It was a stupid goodbye kiss, Haru. Meant for closure... You weren't supposed to have seen it."

"Well, I saw it!" The other spat out, turning his back on Rin and walking towards the living room.

He didn't manage to go far though, as a strong par of arms suddenly wrapped around his chest preventing him from going any further,

"Haru please. She's gone home already. I'm never gonna see her again." Rin said, as Haru fought against his hold. "I'm sorry I hurt you... She was crying and asked me for a goodbye kiss... I ... I panicked. I didn't know what to do..." He added, leaning his forehead against the back of his boyfriend's shoulder, as the later's fighting began to subside. "If I could take it back, Haru... I never meant to hurt you."

"...I hate the way she clang to you." Haru confessed, his voice low.

"It meant nothing Haru, I swear." Rin retorted quietly, as his lips brushed the back of the other's neck.

Haru's next question though, froze Rin on spot.

"Did you sleep with her?"

"W-What?"

"Did you sleep with that girl?" Haru asked again, turning around so that he could look straight into Rin's eyes, who looked suddenly flustered.

"H-Haru, I'm with you. I would never-"

"Not now. I mean, did you ever sleep with her back in Australia while you were dating?"

This time Rin blushed... Visibly.

"Huh...Well...I...That is..." He stammered, not knowing what to say for a few moments until he finally sighed in defeat. "...Yeah, I did... We...We were each other's firsts..." He said, avoiding Haru's gaze altogether.

Rin was seriously hoping a hole would open on the ground so he could hide inside it for the rest of the night, when Haru's next words managed to freeze him for a second time.

"Sleep with me."

"W-what? !"

"I want you to sleep with me." Haru repeated, dead serious.

"I heard you the first time!"

"Then why did you ask?" Haru's casual reply only succeeded in making Rin even more aggravated, so much so, that the latter was forced to avert his eyes away from his boyfriend again in order to hide his own embarrassment.

"Look, Haru..." He started.

"You don't want to..." Rin couldn't realise whether Haru's voice sounded hurt or resented.

"Look, it's not that." Rin started anew; his hand nervously massaging the back of his neck.

Was Haru messing with him or something? Since they had both started secretly dating each other over two months ago, Haru and him had not gone past second base. It would be a lie if Rin were to say he wasn't dying for a chance to get more intimate with his boyfriend but he didn't wish for the trigger event to derive from his mindless action with his ex.

"Trust me, I want to be with you like that, but right now you are still mad and I don't want to-"

The fact that Rin still wasn't looking at Haru as he spoke caught him off guard.

Before he knew it, Rin found himself beneath Haru on top of the living room's sofa, struggling to free himself from the younger man's grasp.

"Haru! What are you...?" He still managed to say before the other silenced him with a kiss.

"Haru, wait..." Rin mumbled, as he felt his boyfriend's hands starting to roam his body.

When one of Haru's hands settled above his crotch area, Rin had to bite his tongue not to curse out loud.

"You're hard." He heard Haru whisper against his ear.

"Of course I'm hard, you baka! Now take your hands off!"

Rin's demand didn't manage to have the desired effect. If anything, it only made things worse, as Haru quickly and expertly worked to free the both of them of their cumbersome clothes, leaving them soon with nothing but their underwear on.

Not that the effort didn't take its toll on the younger man. Haru was panting from exhaustion soon after, even though his eyes were still as fierce and determined as they had been minutes ago.

Also panting, though from the effort of fighting back, Rin found himself nevertheless mesmerized by the lust oozing off from Haru. It was like he was suddenly possessed or something.

"What is up with you tonight?" Rin asked, noticing how his voice was coming out ragged. Whether by tiredness or lust, he didn't know.

Haru didn't answer at first, letting his bangs fall in front of his eyes in order to hide them from view. It was as if he realized all of a sudden what he was doing and feeling ashamed by his uncharacteristic behaviour he soon moved off of Rin, sitting alone on the other side of the sofa.

Now Rin was really confused. "Haru?..." He asked, propping himself up on his elbows so he could have a better view of his boyfriend.

Haru's voice was so low, Rin had trouble hearing him. "...I don't want anyone to take you away from me."

"Huh?"

"I don't want to lose you again, Rin." Haru finally confessed, a slight tint of red staining his cheeks.

So that was it... Haru just felt insecure. He was afraid something or someone would make Rin pull a stunt like he had done four years ago and disappear out of his life again with little to no warning.

Shit. Rin felt as though a flurry of butterflies was about to explode inside his stomach. Talk about a corny reaction,... yet he just couldn't help it.

Quickly scrambling into a sitting position next to Haru, Rin tried his best not to sound as cheesy as he felt.

"Haru..." He started, feeling his own cheeks start to burn. "No one's ever going to take me away. I... I love you. I'll never leave you again."

Sure, they'd confessed their feelings for each other before, but there was something about the way Haru reacted this time, sheepishly replying to Rin in much the same way as the blush on his cheeks deepened, that made the shark go over the edge.

Before he could understand what he was doing, Rin found himself standing up in front of Haru with an inviting hand extended his way.

"Huh... Do you wanna... Do you wanna go up to your room with me?" Rin asked, massaging the back of his neck with his free hand again, and hoping his cheeks weren't far too red.

It took Haru a few seconds to realize the implication of his question though. When he did, his eyes widened in surprise. "I thought... I thought you said you didn't want to..."

Geez, why did Haru have to make everything so much more embarrassing? "I changed my mind, ok?" Rin retorted, pretty sure his cheeks were turning crimson by now.

He heard a low sound resembling a chuckle, before Haru took hold of his hand and silently led him up to his room.

There were obvious questions in Sousuke and Makoto's eyes the following day when Rin and Haru showed up at practice with a mysterious grin on their faces and heavy dark circles under their eyes, signalling they hadn't had much sleep the night before, but either of them looked so happy that neither of their friends thought it wise to pry.


End file.
